I’ve been struggling this past year with wanting some answers from the Lord that, so far, haven’t been forthcoming. I have prayed, fasted, pleaded and cried out for the answers to my questions. When they have not come, I have sought out godly counsel by talking to pastors, other ministers, friends and other wise folks. In my search I have bought and read so many books and CD teachings that I can open my own bookstore! I have become the “Google Queen”, searching online even in the middle of the night for someone somewhere who has asked the same questions before and got the answers. All this to no avail, leaving me frustrated and wondering.
I’ve been misunderstood by many, ridiculed by some and accused of being impertinent by others!
There are those who think we should never question God and say I am arrogant to do so. Huh? I think I am in good company: Job, David, Jeremiah and so many others cried out to God in a desperate search for answers to their hearts’ cries.
- Psalm 13:1 How long, oh Lord, how long will You forget me? Forever? How long will You look the other way?
Even Jesus Himself questioned the Father:
- Matthew 27:46 My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?
Then there are those who say there are just some things you will never know until you get to heaven, so don’t even bother trying to figure them out. Hmmm…..that’s not what the Word says:
- Proverb 25:2 It is the glory of God to conceal a matter, but the glory of kings is to search out a matter.
- Amos 3:7 Surely the Lord God does nothing, unless He reveals His secret to His servants the prophets.
There are others who tell me that God isn’t answering me in order to teach me a lesson. Ughh, the good old ’suffering doctrine’ crowd – you gotta love ‘em. Contrary to what many think, God uses the Word to teach us; He doesn’t make us miserable or put cancer on us to instruct us.
- 2 Timothy 3:16-17 All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.
Some others say that it is my ‘cross to bear’ and I should pick it up and carry it with no complaint, entering into His sufferings. Unanswered questions are my cross to bear? Jesus already bore everything for us on the cross! The only suffering we are to bear is for the Word’s sake – persecution for doing things His way and resisting temptation. The rest we have authority over, thanks to Jesus.
- 2 Timothy 3:12 Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution.
The Greek word for persecution used in the above verse is “dioko” which means: to drive away, to harass, to trouble, to persecute. Notice, sickness, poverty and unanswered prayer are not part of the definition of persecution!
Persecuted is definitely what I have been feeling listening to some of these people. Imagine earnestly seeking truth and being told some of this silliness. I know people mean well, but the wisest counsel has been from the honest ones. They may not have the answers but they admit it and don’t hand out platitudes and unbiblical stuff.
Anyway, so why haven’t I received the answers I am seeking? Today I found out why: I haven’t been persistent enough in “digging my well”.
Let me explain. A pastor friend of mine, Ben Conway, pastors a church in England. He recently wrote a book called Rivers and Wells, and I read it today.
In it he talks about the need for us to seek out God for ourselves. While we are new in the Lord it is okay to seek out answers from others such as pastors, healing ministries, counselors, etc. But, as we grow up in the Lord, He desires for us to walk closely with Him and commune so deeply with Him that we get filled (our well) so much we can flow out to others (our rivers).
- John 7:38 He who believeth on Me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water.
- Proverb 16:22 Understanding is a wellspring of life to him who has it…
As a not-so-immature Christian, I know how to do that. I know I must be fed in order to feed others; I do that daily (fill up and then pour out to others). However, because of frustration in not getting answers to these couple of questions, I’ve pulled a small part of myself away from God, mainly out of a spirit of rejection. Instead of pulling away, I need to dig my well deeper and seek Him even more! He has promised if I do, He will be found.
- Jeremiah 29:13 And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.
How does one “dig deeper”? One dedicates more time to the Lord. One becomes “bulldog” tenacious – not giving up! One values what they are seeking more than anything else (more than TV, internet, work, relaxation, shopping, etc).
- Luke 15:8 “Or what woman, having ten silver coins, if she loses one coin, does not light a lamp, sweep the house, and search carefully until she finds it?”
There is a story in the Word about a widow who went to an unjust judge begging for justice. She kept hounding him and he wouldn’t answer her….yet she never gave up. In the end, he said:
- Luke 18:5 (NLT) “….but this woman is driving me crazy. I’m going to see that she gets justice, because she is wearing me out with her constant requests!”
The scripture goes on to say what more we can expect from God who is a just judge!
I encourage you to dig in! Don’t give up! Keep on believing God is good and He hears you when you cry!
Keep the faith!
I am very grateful to Ben for his obedience to write this book, and I highly recommend you read it, too. You can download a copy or buy a paperback version of Rivers and Wells here: Rivers and Wells